


You Don't Know How Crazy I am About You

by kalawakan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Johnyong, Light Angst, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 16:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15823089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalawakan/pseuds/kalawakan
Summary: Taeyong is so desperate to be loved and be in love but was too scared to meet someone, for he fear that he would only get hurt if he ever did love someone again.





	You Don't Know How Crazy I am About You

It would’ve lasted if Jaehyun didn’t mess up and cheated twice.

He cheated _twice_ –the audacity.

Once is enough, but Taeyong made himself believe that his boyfriend will never hurt him again as promised. It was completely a dumb decision, perhaps the dumbest decision he ever made in his entire life, but he knew deep down in his heart that he was really crazy about him.

Jaehyun was his first love. He didn’t know that it could hurt that much. He didn’t know that Jaehyun was capable of hurting him, because the man always looked so pure and innocent to him. He looked like an angel.

But at the back of those sweet smile, warm hugs, angelic face, and adorable I love you’s, was a tragedy.

A bitter tragedy.

It was his best friend, Doyoung, who he accidentally saw making out with his boyfriend. The first time and so as the second.

Taeyong was completely shattered into pieces, it would never be as hurtful if the person Jaehyun cheated on wasn’t his best friend.

But it was his best friend, and that caused him double the pain he was feeling. He was betrayed by two of the most trusted people he ever have.

As the time goes by, Taeyong eventually forgave the two for his own sake. He needs to forgive to be able to breathe normally again, it was exhausting for him just by thinking that he had to drown himself with the thought of how he was betrayed by the two.

He wanted to move on and start afresh. He forgave but didn’t choose to forget. It is now a part of his life and journey, and he truly learned a lot from that.

However, even though Taeyong was desperate enough to be loved and be in love again, he was still scared. It wasn’t easy after all.

/

Taeyong is a Contemporary Dance major and now in his third year in college. It has been 3 years since his last relationship, which was his first ever relationship. It only lasted for almost a year, from junior to senior year in high school. He graduated high school having his heart shattered, with no lover and no best friend.

A bitter tragedy at its finest.

Most people would think that it would be an overstatement if Taeyong would emphasize that dancing is more than just a passion, it basically is his life, but he never really cared about what people has to think about him.

But what’s an overstatement was when he carved in his heart that Jaehyun was his first love, because in all honesty, he was never his first love. It was dancing. He wasn’t even the second, he finally realized, because what comes after dancing is cooking.

Or maybe Jaehyun is no longer now in any of his list.

Taeyong’s family owns a bake shop and vividly remembered that it was officially opened on his 15th birthday, because his parents knew how much Taeyong loved cooking and baking. It was extra special.

Though, his parents only discovered how much their son loved dancing a little later when they saw him dancing in his room so gracefully when he was 10. Taeyong started learning how to cook when he was 7.

His parents thought that he would be a chef in the future, but Taeyong chose to become a professional dancer and of course will never stop doing pastries.

/

A man who’s so tall, around 6 feet, who forms a little whisker of dimples under his eyes whenever he smiles and a Photography major, was awaken by a loud noise coming from the kitchen.

“No, no, no!” someone was shouting in despair while flipping the pancakes that were already burnt.

“Oh my gosh, something smells burning!” The tall man hurriedly ran into the kitchen to see what’s happening, and he saw his roommate panicking over a pancake.

“Johnny! Oh god, please help me! The pancakes!” His roommate was flapping his hands and gave him the spatula instead.

“Calm down Lucas. It’s just a _pancake_.” Johnny put a lot of emphasis when he said pancakes because it was the first time he saw his roommate for almost four years now, who is almost as tall as him, panicking over pancakes.

“Holy mother of god? I was completely feeling nice the time I woke up and literally was feeling so good, so I decided to cook breakfast. But here we are.” Lucas was clapping out of amusement, out of the mess he made. He could be really dramatic sometimes (most of the times).

“How about no more cooking breakfasts? I’ve discovered a new bake shop last night that also serves coffee, I’ve seen reviews. The feedback said it’s a good shop!”

Even though Johnny really felt bad how badly treated the supposedly fluffy pancakes, he had to throw them away and ask for forgiveness. He hates wasting food, basically wasting in general.

After taking a shower and tidying themselves, the two boys went out to finally grab their breakfast in Johnny’s suggestion, which is the Breeze Bake Shop. Johnny has two more hours before his first class, while Lucas has an hour and a half.

The two finally arrived in the bake shop, it has such a nice ambiance, and they were a little frustrated at themselves on how they never visited such a nice shop before.

A beautiful man welcomed them with a sweet smile on his face. Johnny was slightly taken aback by the man’s beauty who was merely standing in the counter to welcome them. Lucas saw the man but immediately turned his eyes to the beautiful cupcakes and cakes after greeting the man back.

Johnny felt a little throb on his chest, maybe he was quite shocked because it was his first time seeing someone with such beauty. It’s as if the man was sparkling, he looked like a masterpiece.

“May I take your order?” The man asked.

“Yeah, sure. So uhm, it’s our first time here, could you recommend us some best sellers?” Johnny managed to ignore his chest throbbing when he answered the man’s question.

“I noticed. Thank you so much for coming by and of course, I’d love to help you with your order.” The man was just talking, but Johnny was still stunned by his beauty. He was having a sudden urge to feel the man’s cheeks. They must be soft. “Our best seller is the sponge cake and strawberry shortcake. For coffee, we serve the usual, black coffee, brewed, latte, cappuccino, and espresso.” The man continued.

After ordering, the two sat down and waited for their food to arrive.

“This place looks really nice and cozy.” Lucas said and took photos of himself and the displays on the wall. They were the first customers to visit the shop that day.

“Glad we came here.” Johnny smiled, scanning the whole shop. He was amazed on how aesthetic and minimalistic the shop was.

A couple of minutes passed and the man from the counter is now back to serve their order. “Enjoy your order.”

Johnny ordered sponge cake and espresso, while Lucas ordered strawberry shortcake and latte.

“Thanks, we’re excited to taste this.” Lucas was really excited because it felt like the last time he had sweets was a decade ago, although that was an exaggeration.

The man was delighted with the reaction of the two and finally went back to the counter, but before he completely got back to the counter, Johnny spoke once again, “Oh, hey. Do you mind if I take photos of these and maybe post them somewhere? Like blogs or sns?”

“Yeah, of course, no problem.” The man smiled once again and Johnny felt his chest throbbing.

Most people would take out their phones and snap a photo away, but for Johnny, it’s usually a camera. A handy one and sometimes a dslr, and has a habit of asking someone’s permission if he has to whenever he has to take a photo.

The man saw how ecstatic Johnny was while taking a few shots of the cakes and looked satisfied after browsing them.

“Thanks, the cakes were lovely and delicious. We really enjoyed that!” Johnny said before leaving the shop.

“And the coffee too! Ah, really good!” Lucas added while putting his two thumbs up.

The man from the counter couldn’t hide his happiness after hearing those words from the two. Johnny was having another urge, but this time, it’s not wanting to touch the man’s cheeks, but to capture a photo of the beautiful man. But he was too shy to ask.

/

“Yongie, can you cover the counter for me? I still have to decorate the cake Mrs. Kang ordered two days ago.” Taeyong’s mother asked while he was stretching his arms from his bed.

“Sure mom.” His eyes were squinting.

“It wouldn’t be a conflict?” His mother asked and he replied, “Not at all, my first class starts at 10.”

Taeyong loves covering the counter and help with the shop, solely because he likes seeing people enjoying the cakes him and his mother baked.

He learned cooking from his mother ever since he was little, it was astonishing to him how delicate cooking could be, just like dancing. It needs practice and be done with much passion, love, and care.

Today, the first customers in their shop were two tall men. Two _beautiful_ tall men, who happened to catch his attention. They must have the same height, but Taeyong feels that one in black hoodie is taller than the other, maybe an inch away.

He was happy that he was asked about the best sellers of their shop, because it’s usually him who bakes the sponge cakes, it’s a good time to impress the customers with his amazing skills in baking. But it’s true that his mother’s strawberry shortcake is mouthwatering too.

He was humming while preparing the order of their first customers, he wishes that they would love the cakes and would eventually become regulars.

After a few moments, the two customers came to him and praised how good the cakes were and so as the coffee which he made himself.

The boy could feel a heightened feeling of excitement inside him, because he loves it so much when customers compliments and praises anything and everything about their shop.

/

Johnny woke up peacefully today without his loud roommate waking him up with a startle, and no burnt pancakes this morning. Lucas has an early class today so Johnny was already left alone in the dorm.

He was looking through the photos he took yesterday from a photo shoot, and reached up until the last frame of the photo he took from the bake shop he and Lucas went three days ago. It put a smile on his face and without a doubt, he wanted to go back.

Johnny wanted to visit the shop again to grab some nice brewed coffee and maybe for another good reason.

Taeyong heard the chimes from the shop’s front door while he was cleaning the counter, and it startled him a little to see one of the tall guys who visited their shop days ago, opening the door.

“Hi, good morning.” Johnny greeted him the time he opened the door and the time he recognized the man he was excited to see.

“Good morning!” Taeyong couldn’t hide his smile the moment the customer greeted him, he was the first customer to visit the shop again this time, but without his friend. “You’re alone today?” He added.

Johnny removed his right hand on his pocket and rubbed his two hands on his thighs, feeling a little nervous, but was able to speak, “Yeah, my friend was running late for his first class. So I uh, came here alone. I missed the coffee.”

Or maybe he was about to say _I missed seeing your smile_ to the man he was talking.

He was skeptical or should we put it as, Johnny never believed in love at first sight, but damn, is this what love at first sight means? He wasn’t sure enough but maybe it is.

“Which one would you like to order?” Taeyong was quite shocked to finally realize that the man was actually really tall.

He knows for sure that the man was tall, but he is closer this time, and was almost lifting his head up while talking to the man. He felt extra short today.

“I’d love some brewed coffee, please.” Johnny brushed his hair and Taeyong thought how beautiful he really is.

“Are you attending Yellowbell University?” Taeyong asked before he turned around to make a brewed coffee, when Johnny finally took his seat that wasn’t far from the counter.

It was quite obvious where university Johnny was attending because his dslr strap says a big _Yellowbell_ around it.

“I actually do, how did you know?” Johnny was genuinely shocked with the man’s question, but he giggled a little when the man said that he saw his camera strap, that’s why he assumed he was attending there. “I’m a photography major.” Johnny added.

“Oh hey that’s pretty cool, that explains the cameras.” Taeyong nodded and finally finished brewing some coffee. He served it to the customer’s table.

“What about you? Are you still studying?” The customer asked away after thanking him for serving the coffee.

“I also attend Yellowbell and I’m a contemporary dance major.”

“No way! We go to the same university? How come I’ve never seen you?”

“Our college buildings are literally from both ends of the university, so I think that’s why.”

“Well, you’re right. And by the way, I’m Johnny.”

“I’m Taeyong!”

Johnny initiated a handshake and as expected, the man’s hand was soft just like how he imagined it to be. The boy looked so soft in his eyes.

/

Taeyong caught himself running as fast as he can to finally get to Sicheng, his one and only friend in his entire college years.

Although he made other friends, Sicheng was the only one he could trust this time. His friend was surprised when he tapped his shoulder so hard from the back, “Sicheng!” he was so happy to see him.

“Stop scaring me like that! And stop running in the hallway.” Sicheng could be moody at times and could never get used to Taeyong’s weird habits like jumping at him from behind, biting his nails when he’s nervous, and being so hard on himself when it comes to love.

He knows everything because Taeyong told him, and they’ve been so close for the past three years, and all he wanted was for Taeyong to find true and genuine happiness. To finally start meeting someone again.

But he knows it’s not easy and he’s trying his best to push Taeyong out of his comfort zone, because he is sure tired of Taeyong’s whiny ass sometimes.

Taeyong is so desperate to be loved and be in love but was too scared to meet someone, for he fear that he would only get hurt if he did ever love someone again. If Sicheng could slap Taeyong, he would.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared and all that, but you see… I met this beautiful guy twice in our shop.” Taeyong shyly told his friend while clinging onto his arms.

Sicheng widened his eyes because it’s almost as new and rare for his friend to talk about _men_ – _beautiful men_ in this economy.

He looked at Taeyong and smirked, “Okay, stop giving me that look.” Taeyong said. “You met this _beautiful guy_. _Twice_. You called him beautiful, is this a sign?” Sicheng sounded like he was teasing Taeyong, but he was truly happy that he’s having a conversation like this with a person who’s still afraid to fall in love.

“He is beautiful.” Taeyong pouted a little and sighed afterwards.

“I can tell you’re nervous. But you know, everything I want for you is happiness. Stop blocking all those emotions you were feeling. It’s not so bad to finally have a crush into some _beautiful guy_ you just met days ago. _Twice_.” Sicheng was putting a lot of emphasis on his response, and Taeyong looked at him once again, “You really think so?”

“God,” Sicheng stopped from walking and pulled Taeyong to sit on a bench near them, “How long has it been? How long will you let yourself suffer and indulge yourself with the past? I know you’re scared, because I am too. I am your friend and it hurts me so bad to see you like this. For once, just this time, maybe let yourself be free and be happy.” He continued while Taeyong was about to burst into tears. He knew how Sicheng cared for him always, and how right he is all the time.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Sicheng.”

Sicheng hated seeing his friend cry. He hated that he had to suffer like this, sometimes he wonders if the two people who betrayed his friend ever felt the sadness Taeyong have been feeling for years.

“Taeyong are you okay?” A man from behind asked, a short guy, and came to pat his back to comfort him.

“Hey Renjun, I’m fine.”

It was Renjun, Sicheng’s boyfriend, who have always been so nice to Taeyong as well. Sicheng is also a contemporary dance major while his boyfriend’s major is fine arts.

Taeyong finally picked himself up from the bench and wiped his tears with his sweater paws.

The two went to their class and Renjun went on his own, but Sicheng ran back because he forgot to hug his boyfriend and land a kiss on his soft forehead. “See you later.”

/

After classes, Johnny was typing a message for Lucas, so they could meet at the college building’s lobby to go home together, but even before he could send the message, Lucas called his name and ran towards him.

They never really considered themselves as best friends, but they have been good friends to each other since freshmen year, and they got along so well because they both grew up in another country. Johnny was born and raised in Chicago while Lucas was from Hongkong.

It was nice to share the same sentiments with someone who they thought could truly be experiencing the same thing they were experiencing, as a foreigner.

Johnny stood up and smiled, he placed his arm around Lucas’ shoulders and began to confess something. “Dude, do you believe in love at first sight?”

Lucas was fast enough to give Johnny a suspicious look, because it was probably the first time he heard him ask about this kind of topic.

“Well, sometimes. It depends? You see, I’ve never experienced that, but somehow it feels like it’s not impossible to happen. Love moves in mysterious ways, so maybe it could totally happen.” Lucas is a fine ass man who does silly things, but when he needs to be serious he will be.

“So, I guess there’s someone who caught your attention in just one look?” He added, and is now looking back at Johnny, smirking.

Johnny knows that he couldn’t escape that one, because why would he ask about _love at first sight_ if he hasn’t experienced it?

Or maybe he was just truly curious about it.

He was still not responding and Lucas continued to poke questions on him, “Was it the man from the shop?” Johnny is so bad at lying. He was starting to feel a rush on his body and a burning sensation on his cheeks.

“Boy, you’re so obvious.” Lucas added while laughing at Johnny’s obvious reactions.

“You… knew?” Johnny removed his arm that was wrapping onto Lucas’ shoulders and steadied himself while staring at him, a little nervous.

“Not that I was a hundred percent sure, but I saw how you looked at him when we first visited the shop. You were glowing.” Lucas was all giggly and excited, now that his friend had finally confessed. And now that it is safe to say that he really was right.

/

Taeyong was exceptionally excited today because it is Sicheng’s birthday. He baked a mini green tea flavored cake, which was Sicheng’s favorite, and packed it in a lovely little light green box with a white ribbon to secure the box.

The boy was humming all his way to the university’s main gate, when suddenly, he fell to the ground. He didn’t care about himself, but the cake.

“The cake! Please! It’s not destroyed! Please!” Taeyong hurriedly picked the box and placed it onto his lap, he opened it and the cake was slightly damaged.

He was almost about to cry but a man suddenly was on his knees apologizing to him.

He began to lift his head up and was ready to scream into his face, but he was taken aback when he saw Johnny.

“Tae…yong. I’m so sorry.” Johnny gulped and was so shocked to see the man on the ground being Taeyong, it was their first encounter in the university, but this wasn’t the situation he was imagining in his mind.

He wanted to start digging his own grave because Taeyong was seriously almost about to cry while looking through the damaged cake.

Lucas helped Taeyong to get up and apologized, because he was laughing so hard when he pushed Johnny. It was his fault after all.

“I’m really sorry, oh god, what did I do?” Johnny was so anxious this time, not knowing what to do. But Taeyong said that everything’s going to be fine, he can explain everything to Sicheng.

“Should I buy another cake?” Johnny asked but Taeyong shook his head no and wiped his teary eyes.

“Are you giving it to someone?” Lucas asked.

“Yes, it’s my friend’s birthday today, and I baked this cake for him.”

Johnny felt more anxious and so bad because he definitely ruined the cake, but Taeyong felt that Johnny was feeling extremely bad about it so he smiled at him and said, “It’d be nice if more people will greet my friend on his birthday today.”

Taeyong and Sicheng agreed to meet each other in the botanical garden, while Johnny asked Lucas to accompany him there because he wanted to take photos of the butterflies and some wild plants, it’s a fate for them to go to the same place.

“Hi Tae…yong.” Sicheng was quite confused to see his friend with two unfamiliar guys.

“Sicheng! Happiest birthday!” Taeyong ran towards him and hugged him so tight, while the two waved at him and greeted him a happy birthday as well.

“This is Johnny and…” Taeyong stopped, “Lucas!” Lucas continued and realized that he hasn’t properly introduced himself to Taeyong. “Yeah, Lucas, they both visited our shop a couple of times.” Taeyong continued.

Sicheng initiated a handshake with the two and poked Taeyong’s side waist after. Taeyong just smiled at him and there, Sicheng knew that one of them has to be the beautiful guy his friend was talking about.

After classes, the four decided to meet again and celebrate once more in the shop that Taeyong’s family owned, Sicheng also invited his boyfriend to come along.

They almost forgot how nice it was to be accompanied with more friends, because they were only stuck with a one friend. Not that they are complaining, it’s just, it is sure more enjoyable to be around with more good people.

/

Weeks have passed, the five of them became good friends. They hangout a lot in the shop and basically drown themselves with too much sugar.

And there were two people in their circle who were starting to grow feelings for each other, but they were still unaware of it.

Taeyong is still undeniably scared while Johnny is a huge scaredy cat.

But one night, Johnny visited the shop, just right on the time Taeyong was about to close the shop. He didn’t expect Johnny to visit this late, because he usually likes to have coffee in the morning, but Johnny wasn’t here for a good brewed coffee, even though that was tempting.

“Brewed coffee?” Taeyong asked while he was wiping the table counter. But Johnny didn’t respond, and right there and then, Taeyong felt a good amount of tension inside the shop.

He went outside the counter while he was still holding the fabric he used to wipe the table counter.

“Is everything okay?” The distance between the two wasn’t that far, but it’s as if, Taeyong could hear Johnny’s heart thumping.

“I would love to have a coffee with you, somewhere else.” Johnny finally spoke.

“Right now?” Taeyong was confused.

“I’m asking you on a date, idiot.” Johnny didn’t want to call him that but he was sure that Taeyong would understand what he meant, but surprisingly, he didn’t.

“D…ate?” He felt his cheeks were burning, but he suddenly felt scared as well. “And I’m not an idiot.” He pouted.

“Sorry, so what do you say?”

Taeyong was silent for a moment. He didn’t want to speak but instead, he found himself crying, trying to find the right words to say to the man who asked him for a date.

He wasn’t sure if he is happy or not.

But he remembered what Sicheng told him, _for once, just this time, maybe let yourself be free and be happy_.

Johnny was flustered, once again, didn’t know what to do just like the day he bumped onto Taeyong that damaged the cake he baked for Sicheng’s birthday.

Taeyong slowly walked towards Johnny and came for a hug. He buried his face into the taller guy’s chest and cried until he couldn’t cry no more. Johnny was still flustered but knew that he needed to comfort Taeyong this moment.

“I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess.” Taeyong almost wiped his tears with the dirty fabric he was holding, but Johnny was fast enough to use his thumbs to wipe Taeyong’s tears away.

“Don’t be, just tell me everything when you’re ready.”

Taeyong didn’t know how much he needed this kind of hug and touch not until Johnny hugged him back. His hug was tight, which made Taeyong feel so secured and safe, like he didn’t want to escape.

After Taeyong has settled down, he was able to confess all of his worries for the past years. Though, he still cried while he was speaking because after all, there was still some pain left on his chest. But he was thankful enough that Johnny was there to listen and to hold onto him.

“Thank you for telling me everything.” Johnny looked into Taeyong’s eyes and cupped his small and soft face. “I’m so sorry you had to suffer like this, but I’m so proud of you. You are so strong.” He continued, but Taeyong started crying once more because he needed those words the most.

“I really am trying my best to be okay.” Taeyong sniffed, paused, and continued, “I’m okay, but most of the time I’m not. It just warms my heart to know that someone is proud of me for trying.”

He was now crying like a baby and Johnny couldn’t help but to smile while looking at Taeyong, he would be lying if he thought that Taeyong isn’t cute at this point of time.

“I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess.” Taeyong said once more, but Johnny kissed him instead to shut him up. He’s so tired of Taeyong apologizing for things he shouldn’t be.

The kiss lasted for a couple of seconds and Johnny had to pull away to look at Taeyong, but the boy’s cheeks was as red as cherry, he couldn’t keep an eye contact with him.

Johnny wiped Taeyong’s tears once again and fixed his hair.

“I don’t know if this is the right time, but I love you.” Johnny’s voice sounded really low so he said it once more, “I don’t know if this is the righ-” This time, Taeyong kissed Johnny to shut him up. He slowly stood up from his seat while kissing Johnny.

The taller guy’s hands were now in Taeyong’s side waists and pulled him closer, which made Taeyong sit onto his lap.

Taeyong finally got rid of the fabric he was holding (even though he should have a few moments ago) and wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck.

The two was almost breathless but didn’t want to stop. They pulled away just to catch some air and kissed even more.

Johnny could feel Taeyong’s lips forming into a smile maybe because his hands were slowly lifting a little bit of his shirt, and caressed his bare skin for a moment.

Taeyong pulled away from the kiss and spoke, “You don’t even know how crazy I am about you, since the first time you step foot in this shop. I was just scared.” He was staring at Johnny, studying his beautiful face and fixed a little bit of the taller guy’s hair that’s getting into his forehead.

“So it was love at first sight after all.” Johnny smiled and Taeyong noticed how the dimples that looked like whiskers formed into Johnny’s cheeks when he smiled. It was adorable.

“Yeah, you could say that.” Taeyong replied and kissed Johnny’s cheeks.

“Same with me.” Johnny can finally say that love at first sight is true. Lucas was right, love moves in mysterious ways. “You don’t know how crazy I am about you.” He continued.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you as always for taking interest in reading my work! have an amazing day :-) also, kudos and comments are always much appreciated!


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